n u m b
by bloodytwistedangel
Summary: [ONESHOT] I want to feel, I whispered in a voice just below inaudible. You stared at me, amber eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Now Eyes, why would you want something like that? 1st POV Eyes, 2nd POV Kanon. KanonEyes.


**:: n u m b ::  
**

Disclaimer: Neither you nor I own Spiral, but don't we wish?

Intro: -Corinne Bailey Rae, 'Put Your Records On'- This is my first Spiral fic. Hopefully not too much OOC-ness in here. I haven't read the manga, only watched the anime, so I'm going out on a limb here. (sweat drop) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy as you read because that makes me all fuzzy inside.

Rating: PG-13 - _Mildly_ Suggested Slash, (Fluffy) Angst, Violence, Mild Blood

Pairing: Kanon/Eyes - Spiral: Bond of Destiny

A/N: -1st POV Eyes, 2nd POV Kanon, Pre-series AU-esque- I want to remind all the Kanon/Eyes shippers that this is _mildly_ shounen-ai.

* * *

We were young when we started this game of hide-and-seek, this bittersweet game of catch the Devil. Things were as beautiful as the Sun setting over a lake back then. Things were simple and gorgeous, radiating beauty in everything they touched. You and I were from different worlds. 'Opposites attract,' as they say, and that's exactly what made us so perfect. 

Despite our differences, we had much in common. We connected by just being with each other, witnessing the other's life, choosing our paths in our own way. Our worlds broke apart, crumbled under the difference of our settings. It was like a bad game of tug-o-war when both sides pulled before the starting whistle chimed. Or maybe the game was already started by the time we realized it... In either case, we lived in that joyful oblivion. Each day passed with beautiful harmony. We lived each day in a dreamscape.

'Only the good die young,' they say. Only the good...

_It was a beautiful, blooming spring. Your mother was smiling at us as we played around in the grass with her shiny sticks. They were sharp, so we were careful while handling them. I didn't want to hurt You, after all. There were a few targets with bright yellow and blue on them. The objection was to throw our little objects quick and precise._

_"Eeeeeeeeeyes!" We were young. We had small, pudgy fingers, loud mouths, and a small understanding of the world. "Do you think angels can exist if God doesn't?"_

_I blinked. "I don't think so."_

_You grinned widely. "I do, and so does Mother. Do you want to know why?"_

_I nodded gently. You snickered, leaning in near me. "She doesn't want anybody to know, but she believes in miracles."_

_"And you?" I asked, closing in the space between us. The thin, sharp object in my hand slipped through my fingers easily._

_Your golden eyes widened in shock. "Isn't it obvious? You!"_

_"Eyes! You dropped your knife!" Your mother called. "Pick it up and hunt five rabbits down, now!"_

_Before I could reply, You had patted me on the shoulder. "I'll take care of it." You lifted Your index finger to Your mouth. "Don't tell."_

That was the first time You didn't call me by my name, and it was the last time I had seen You so innocent.

"It's cold," I murmured. We were both standing outside, bundled up in coats with fur, scarves, and boots. The only objects of pure color were Your vibrant mittens, red and blue and reflecting in the falling snow. Icicles hung above our heads, crusted in cold from nights previous. '_Cold_,' I reminded myself. '_It's cold_.'

You laughed in a comforting way, patting my head to ruffle my hair up. It had grown considerably in the last few months. '_It'd look good on you_,' You said, so that's what I did. "Don't be silly, Eyes. It's not cold; it's downright **freezing**."

I nodded my head slowly, understanding but not processing. Leaning against the side of one of the porch's posts, You sighed. A puff of hot air floated past Your nose. With a glance from those warm, amber eyes, I averted my gaze and fixated on the surrounding white again. Never in my life had I seen so much snow. Never in my life had I seen You so amused...

"Oh Eyes! You're much too polite!" You jested, slinging an arm around my shoulders. "It's okay to be rude if it's something you like..."

I would have shivered. I think I might have liked that a lot, to shiver underneath You, to feel the contrasting warmth against my dry, cold skin. "It's freezing."

With a grin, You wrapped your other arm around me, now hunched over my frame entirely. "Nn. Not freezing, just cold."

"You boys!" one of the nuns shouted. "What were you thinking staying outside in the cold like that?! Even if you have proper clothes on, you could still freeze. What if you would have gotten hypothermia?" She rushed over and scooped us both into her arms. She leaned down and held us tight in her sudden embrace. My body felt limp against the warmth, but it wasn't a bad feeling. You were clearly uncomfortable. She let go of us and stared at us serious with her arms crossed. "Now go change your clothes and take a warm shower tonight, you both hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am." We left in unison, the woman behind us yelling about how she wouldn't take that, 'bad excuse of an answer.'

"Nuns shouldn't yell," You sighed. We began trudging up the stairs to our room but no matter how hard I tried, I could never keep up with you. "What does that woman think she is?"

I didn't answer but You didn't rant on anymore in the stairwell. Our room was on the third floor where everyone in the orphanage slept. In most rooms there were two bunk beds but we only had a single bed in ours. Even if we had to share, it was much better not having that small, falling-apart room so crowded. When we reached the living space, You slammed the door shut loudly behind.

"We didn't get sick so I don't know why she's complaining!" You groaned, peeling off a wet shirt that clung to your body.

"She's nice," I murmured, taking my shirt off as well. Everyone at the orphanage was nice. It was a lucky chance they took us in so willingly in the summer. We were already half-a-year close to a year's stay in a single place. I thought of that fondly, but bigger things were on my mind; like wondering if we really should have gotten sick. I suppose if I expressed my feelings as freely as You, I would have been worried.

I glanced up from my thoughts when I felt Your stare on me. "What?"

"I don't believe in God like everyone else." I stared at You but neither of us moved a muscle. "If God existed, mother would have kept us. If God existed, we wouldn't be unwanted children. If God existed, we wouldn't have had to-"

"Unwanted?" I echoed, voice lingering? "Everyone here likes us... How can you say we're unwanted?"

"You don't have a seventh rib, either - like me," You reminded. I nodded, knowing that information already. "We're different because of that - not like other people. We're _cursed_."

"Because we're missing something other people have?" I asked. You smiled warmly, not bothering to answer my question.

"Off to the shower and then we'll play darts! I bought a new target. If you miss, Eyes, no dinner for you! Tomorrow we'll make snowmen! That woman is wrong if she thinks we'll get sick!"

Had I known that those were the moments I should have smiled at, I would have tried my best to do so. Needless to say, we were bedridden for the next two weeks.

"Eyes," You said, your chestnut hair billowing out, flying about as if it were dancing in the wind, "come on, we have to make it to the top of the hill!"

I stared up at You, smiling and waving your arms about. It was still late in the spring. Though the flowers had bloomed into various shades of purples, pinks, and yellows, the air was still crisp with slight chills creeping at my heels in the mornings and eves. "It's windy, a bad day to come to the park."

"On the contrary, m'dear!" Your smile broadened as you held Your items in tow firmly. "It's the perfect day to fly a kite."

I blinked once, not showing any expression. I think things would have been better if I would have said something or smiled or anything of the sort. Instead I was just compelled to nod and follow Your coat. We no longer wore the scarves of winter, but thin, long-necked shirt-collars had taken their place. I missed the color of Your mittens... They were so beautiful. We only wore leather gloves; black and shiny and crumpled when clenching the fist. I would have to wait for winter once more to see those comforting mittens.

"Eyes, don't zone out on me!" My conscience resurfaced and I was once against a part of reality. Tossing me a handle of sorts, spindled with cord, You pointed down the hill. "Run downhill really fast."

"Run...?" I tightened the grip on the wooden handle but looked at it although it was speaking to me in a tongue I knew not. "...Me?"

"I'll do it myself," You sighed as You snatched the white cord away. "Hold this." A cord was shoved at me; one that lead to a bright red kite about ten inches from my grip. Pointing to my grip and the cord's collision with kite, you demonstrated how I properly hold them. "When I tell you to, you're going to let this part go," you explained, wiggling the kite's diamond-shape. "Hold onto the cord, though. Release it only after I tell you to, okay?"

I nodded. The idea was simple enough. You smiled and ran down the mint-green, grassy hill. Most children wouldn't dare play outside on a day as windy as this. Your hair was shorter than mine and every few seconds you had to let go of one hand to pull your sienna strands out of your vision.

"Are you ready, Eyes?" I nodded. The kite's mast was already tugging for freedom in my right hand. "Alright, let her go!"

I obeyed and the crimson cloth shot into the air. The cord was slipping through my hand, intentionally, of course. I realized You were unwinding the spindle and that I was only holding the cord for support until it was high enough. Almost a minute passed before You called out to me. I released the white cord. The flying object didn't ascend any higher, but it swayed freely in the sky. The blue skies and clouds overhead made its presence seem so defined.

I glanced over to You, clenching the handle and moving it every so often to compensate for the wind's natural motion. I soon found myself walking towards you unconsciously. By the time I was at the bottom of the hill You were flailing about uncontrollably due to the intense wind. The handle was rapidly unfolding, kite unwinding and dancing even higher in the air.

"...Is that fun?"

"Well, yes," You replied, trying to hold the spindle still without letting any more cord untangle. Against all your strength, nature couldn't be stopped. We both knew it. "It's just a little...loosey-goosey right now, I suppose... If it would only...sit still, then maybe-"

With a rushing gust of wind, the wooden piece slipped completely out of your grasp. Like the kite, the handle flew away instantly. It soared above our heads and disappeared.

"Hm," you murmured discontent. Your thumb was lodged in your mouth, chewing it like you were trying to decide something. "This is quite a pickle. I don't suppose we can go home without that, now..."

If I knew what a shiver felt like, I might have felt the tingling sensation run up my back. Glancing over, I stared at you. "Why not?"

The contemplative expression that You once held faded away; replaced with yet another grin. Your thumb fell and instead poked up. "Because then _they_ will lead us on like blubbering fools, of course! Now, for lunch, what do you suppose we could-?"

I think...that was the first time I actually saw _You_.

That night I saw a loud thump downstairs. You weren't sleeping next to me like you did every night. I crawled out of bed quietly, tip-toeing to the floor. The old, wooden door creaked open, a ray of bright moon-light running through the threshold. Blinded by the sudden light, I let my eyes adjust as I walked down the hallway. There were more thumping sounds, like someone was jumping up and down. It was strange, though, that I was the only one who heard.

"Bippo," I whispered, pushing an open door slightly. Bippo was a bright, cheery girl older than both of us. She always seemed to know what was going on. Unfortunately, the room was eerily empty, echoing back my voice. Adding to my anxiety, the room was filling with fog, probably due to the open window. I crept near her bed but only the pillows and sheets occupied the space. Her window's curtains were dancing about faintly, the breeze flowing through as quietly as the rest of the orphanage. I leaned over the bed to poke my head outside. From the third-floor windowsill, I could only see a meter or two below. The fog outside consumed everything else, only allowing me the luxury of outlines. There was, however, a spot on the ground exactly below that resembled a fried egg. I inhaled deeply and pulled away.

Again, I heard the previous thumping sound. It was closer, and I could hear a door creak open. And then there was a chain of the bumps on hard-wood floor. My heart began racing, but for some reason, I couldn't hide away from it all. One couldn't just go back to sleep after this sort of occurrence, no matter how better the alternative seems.

Inside the hallway's passage the supervisor's door was open. As I walked closer, I realized that there was a woman's hand reaching out. The hand was limp as if it had lost life. My breathing, once solid and even, became heavy and deep along the way. By the time I reached the door all I could hear was a sharp inhale, followed by a strangling-sound of sorts, and then more thumps. The thump was more refined now, and I could finely place it more as a knife colliding against its cutting board.

"Ka...non..." someone whispered. It was a female's voice, but I couldn't tell who for it was far too raspy. "God... God wi-"

"He can't save you." That was definitely Your voice, even if it sounded small and You spoke low. "He doesn't exist."

"Ka...!" It sounded, much to my dismay, strikingly like Bippo.

"If God is so almighty, he wouldn't have made children like **us**. He wouldn't have sent us **false hope**."

A sound of pain came next and then one last thrusting. I opened the door, allowing it the creak on purpose. "Kanon...?"

You threw your head back, Your golden eyes flashing brightly almost cat-like. Though gleaming beautifully, they screamed cold. "Eyes."

I couldn't help but let my eyes wander. They drifted over the woman whose the former hand belonged to. Her eyes were open but there was no life in them. Another girl was seated in a chase in front of you. You stood still, absolute, a thick liquid dripping from your hands. A few sharp objects reflected in the moon-light but all I could tell was that they had sharp tips. "What's-?"

"Don't look." You smiled at me, but didn't turn around. From the moment our eyes locked, I couldn't pull mine away. "It's hopeless, don't you know? It doesn't matter whether you look or not; we're cursed and you have to face it. But I still don't want you to see _quite_ yet."

I nodded slowly. "Kanon-"

"Make a bag with clothes, food, and whatever else you think we might need as if we were going far away. Just enough for you and me. Be quiet. Don't wake anybody up. When you're done, go to sleep against the entrance door. I'll wake you up when I'm done."

Slowly I nodded.

"Promise me one thing," You demanded, no longer looking at me. You didn't speak for a good while, but I still held me gaze tight on your back. Not a muscle in my body moved. "Don't go in the mess hall."

My voice was a whisper at best, and even that was pushing it. My soft sounds barely pierced through the fog. "...Okay."

"Eyes, are you thirsty?" You sat down beside me, with a firm smile. Your grins never seemed to stretch as far as they used to. By now, spring's pastel beauty was replaced with humid beauty summer carried. I had grown fond of the color black and the leather I discovered last season. You, however, didn't seem to take to it too well. White was all you wore and although many might have said it wasn't the right color for someone like You, I thought it was a perfect fit. You radiated that beam of determination and care even if nobody else saw it.

"I guess not," You laughed embarrassed. You placed the cold glass down on the table, taking a seat beside me. The blazing Sun was setting just beyond the mountains in majestic glory. You sighed and ran a hand through your bangs. For the past few months you hadn't cut the chestnut strands, allowing them to shimmer in the sunlight. "...Eyes. You know why we're running like this, right?"

"You mean from the orphanage?" I asked. They say ignorance is bliss. It's true and the most heart-breaking feeling when you finally learn the truth. "You told me already; they were bad people."

"Yes," you sighed, "but do you know why they were bad people?"

I hesitated for a moment. I could feel my stomach twisting in the pit of my stomach. Slowly, I shook my head from side-to-side. "No."

"They thought they could save us," you whispered in a voice so low, I could barely make it out, "They were a part of _them_."

"...Why not?" You glanced over at me with a blank expression. "Why can't we be saved?"

"Why?' ...'Why?!'" It was almost sick how you began laughing from that point. In a hysteric fit of chuckles, you patted me on the shoulder, a scary look in your eye. "Because we're cursed. Haven't I told you that before?"

I nodded once gently. You had mentioned that word more recently, but I had heard you utter it a few times in the past. "Why does that mean we can't be saved?"

Your laughing ceased. In an instant Your expression had changed from light and amused to darkly serious. "Because we can't be saved. There's no hope. We will die and that's all there is."

"...Is that really are there is in life for us?" That made no sense. Many times I had seen Your genuine smile and I treasured those moments dearly. My memories of You made my stressful life calm like an ocean.

"Well," You sighed irritated, "it's more of a case where we _need_ to die."

"Because we're cursed?" I asked. You nodded with a gentle smile. Before I could ask anymore of these questions that seemed to go nowhere, there were loud knocks at the door. Your body tensed up and you pulled a device from Your coat. I remember it from earlier since You had bought it at the market when we were out buying food. We always bought exactly the rations we needed just to get until tomorrow and You tried avoiding all unnecessary goods. It was curious, then, why You were so eager to buy that shiny, metal thing.

"Eyes, go to the room and get the bag ready."

"They're bad people, too?"

"...Yes. Now go to your room, Eyes."

Sometimes I wondered why all the people we met were bad. I didn't think that all people were bad, but evidently that was the case. Why couldn't we meet anyone nice? I also wondered why they always disappeared during the night. At the same time, those were also questions I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to.

That night was the first night in a long chains of evenings I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. My eyes were closed and my body was still; I was barely conscious of myself. The recent things You'd been saying had concerned me. It was as if You had given up on life before You made any attempt to live it. Now looking back, I don't think You ever did. It was just something I had assumed You and I were similar in: the desire to live. But you and I were not the same. We wanted and believed in different things. The signs were always there, I can't fathom how I missed them. Ignorance is bliss and this was me waking up to reality.

I hadn't heard the normal bumps I had been accustomed to ever since that night in the Spring. Now it was loud bangs. There were even faints traces of smoke in the air. We had been on the go more than ever, lucky if we were able to stay at a single place for a few nights. Whenever we went out for food, we'd stop at a shady alley and pay the man in the doorway for a small, brown package. Inside the package were rounds to that nice hand-gun You carried around everywhere. I was finally waking up to reality.

One of the shots rang through the air. I had barely opened my eyes when You leaned over me gently. "Eyes," You whispered hoarsely in my ear, "we need to go."

I didn't feel betrayed. I couldn't feel. My body was completely numb. There was something screaming at the back of my mind, though. Something was definitely wrong. I had discovered it and now I didn't like it. It wasn't what I wanted.

"I won't choose death. If it's life or death, I want life. I will not kill."

Your eyes widened. It was much too breezy to travel anywhere on foot. We now took the train. Moments when the car was empty were luxurious. I had to take advantage of timing. "...Eyes?"

"I'm not like you," I finally stated. And that was the conclusion I had reached after many nights of critical thinking. It was the one thing I believed. I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to hurt anybody. And there was no reason I couldn't be saved just because I was cursed by not having a seventh rib. Even if I had to stretch my arms out to grab it, or run so far my legs felt as if they would collapse, it was a choice I would be willing to make.

You stared at me for a long time. Every now and then You would make an expression like You wanted to say something but wouldn't. "...If that's what you truly believe."

A man busted in the car with a broad grin. "Hello lads. Just missed my train so I'm hoping to catch some time on this Express. What direction are we headed towards and when will we be there? Don't mind me - you don't mind me sitting here, right? Oh, I'm headed to Munich, you know." Before either of us could answer he had crowded his entire luggage in the blank space beside You and plopped down next to me.

"We're headed west and we'll be at the next stop, Paris, in two hours."

We had been in Paris for almost a month. During that time, I found us growing apart slowly. It wasn't in the things we did, but what we said and thought. We only had enough money to rent a single-bedroom studio. We were forced to sleep in the same bed and we were fine with that. We ate off each other's plates and we were fine with that. We looked at pigeons in the park and our train of thought split completely like a fork in the rail.

My twelfth birthday had passed and you told me that I could wander around town for a little bit if I didn't get caught. The world looks so big when you're all alone. I had discovered three museums, too many art galleries to recall, a nice ice-cream café, and, more wonderful than anything else, a piano shop. I never knew that a single instrument could be so big or that someone small like me could ever play one. The man who ran the shop was kind, though, and he taught me how to play simple songs whenever I dropped by. His sons had all moved away and he would tell me how I was the closest thing he had over and over again. He had remarried a woman and one of her sons, it seemed, was missing a rib just like me. That boy had become a man of the law and was currently away in Russia practicing his profession. If someone like him - like _me_ - could live, I knew I could.

It was something I believed. A path without destruction. A path with cold suffering, but only when I thought about it.

"Where do you go, Eyes?" You demanded one night. Your hair was dismantled and looking dirty and the white button-up shirt was done up at the entirely wrong holes. The insides of your pant pockets were pulled out, dangling over weakly. That look in your eye was different than anything I had ever seen before.

I glanced over casually while I undid my ponytail. Recently I had cut it. The silky strands that would once brush my shoulders were no more. "What do you mean?"

"_Someone_ saw you. _Them_! What were you thinking?!" You rushed over and grabbed my shoulder. "You can't die, Eyes! You can't-!"

"Because I'm cursed?" And then silence. All the other words I wanted to say wouldn't come out.

You stared at me, surprised. Eventually you pulled back, covering your face with a hand. "I did say that, didn't I? Oh... I didn't think you'd ever say something...like that." You began laughing, your shoulders trembling lightly. "Eyes! You've grown up so much!"

That was a lie. I hadn't grown up at all. I was still so blissfully ignorant.

You laughed so hard, You had to hold your sides. Slowly You limped out of the room that night. As soon as the door shut, Your laughing ceased and Your fist slammed against a wall. A few pictures hanging on the wall shook. There was a groan and a slamming door.

That was the first night I was able to sleep.

Piano seemed to have taken over my life. I couldn't tell if I liked of disliked it. It was calming, something I could relax and think about. An easy way for me to unwind and rejuvenate myself. If not for my own selfish pleasure, the store's owner praised me, 'You play like an angel sent from God himself,' to quote exactly. So I played.

I was even beginning to form my own compositions. I would construct them in the silence, in a proper study room, with nobody disturbing these internal thoughts of mine. My first piece, a short one, reflected on Paris. I thought that a place significant and big enough to harbor people like us was worth mentioning. Paris...a city full of surprises. People come from all over the world to fall in love. They leave their warm homes and hand over their former lives in their pursuit for romance. Those people end up on the streets in the shadows, lingering in the dark alleys. I had never talked to one, but I had known since the first moment I got off our arriving train that they existed. Never once had I given them a second thought but when I did, they were similar to us. 'Us,' is what I knew best. We were struggling. We were surviving. Those people, the minority we were a part of, were struggling and surviving, too. This was the ugly side of Paris, the shadow nobody wanted to look at. That was what I wanted to convey. Hope that people like us could survive.

It was a piece I would never share to the world, something I would keep to myself. And maybe You, had You asked.

Piano was something I enjoyed. It was striking how it took me this long to figure that out. I placed that thought in the back of my mind as I pulled the door to our current residence. Piano practice lasted only so long and afterwards, it was survival mode. Nothing more. Just You, me, and whatever people decided to hunt us down.

"Kanon," I called. I didn't feel like making dinner right now, my fingers were sore from the practice that day, but it was something I knew I had to do. You didn't come out until dinner and even then we didn't talk at all. It was ironic how familiar it felt; this was a situation I was alien to. Had I known it was so close to breaking, I would have tried to save it. Even if You would have said it was futile attempt, I would have never known unless I tried.

You didn't seem to approve of my instrumental classes lately. I now spent my days with the sleek black instrument. It seemed to have a mind of its own, meshing with me easier some days than others. I hadn't realized that You hadn't been sleeping much the last three days or that You would try taking some place else before my walks. No, I was ignorant and You were hopeless. Realizing for the first time what a horrible person I had been acting, I bought a ticket to nowhere in particular and just rode the train the whole day. I didn't return for two days but You eagerly welcomed me back.

"You're all I have left...Eyes."

Your body hadn't felt this warm in a long time. Your arms seemed to stretch behind my back so far. In the time we had spent here You had truly grown. Hazel strands of hair brushed against my cheek. I didn't know how to react. "Kanon."

It was one of _those_ moments; the times you know you should be doing something, something that you know with _mean_ something, but don't know what - the times you know what you want to say, but don't know quite how to say it. And those moments, though few, are the ones that mean the most. They're the ones you reflect on when settling down to a steaming cup of tea, or thinking in the bath, or when you just can't seem to fall asleep. When you have all the pieces but can't put them together, they're the memories that haunt you.

"I want to show you something tomorrow, Eyes."

I shifted lightly. Why were you talking to me so late at night? It was one of those precious nights where I didn't have to pack or worry about the loud gun-shots. I wanted to sleep it through soundly. "What is it?'

You wrapped an arm around my waist and grinned against my neck. "I can't tell you. You'll just have to wait." I nodded tiredly, there but not there. "Are you excited?'

"Yes..." I whispered, no sign of such an emotion. Your grin only seemed to grow wider. Faintly I assumed the force brushing against my bangs were Your fingertips. "Good-night."

In all the time we had been in Paris, I had still never been to the Eiffel Tower. The picture books I skimmed through at cafés depicted the tower so wonderfully, but seeing it was like being in a different world. The wind blowing in my face as the elevator slowly climbed up the shaft, Your gentle smile not quite reaching that distant gaze in Your eyes, perfect.

I had reached an age where I couldn't quite place my feelings for You. I thought of You as family, an older brother or a care-taker. You were always concerned about me. Yet, sometimes, when I stared at You, I couldn't help but feel like a little girl. The world seemed to become more warm than it was a few seconds ago. My stomach would fly, the same tingling sensation floating about in my cheeks. And in an instant, You looked up, the magic disappearing.

That seemed to be the case right now. I was seated on a look-out bench but You were wandering near the rail. Every now and then You would lean over and laugh. The white jacket You wore would billow up and begin dancing with Your hair. _I wanted to be close to you. I didn't want to be close to you._ You turned around completely, staring me right in the eye.

"...Yes?" I didn't know what to say. I didn't think it was that serious a moment, resembling what our conversations started as.

"I'm leaving, Eyes." Your voice was firm but quiet.

My eyelids seemed to have been pulled back by an invisible force. You didn't acknowledge it, but I was positive that You knew how I felt.

You smiled sheepishly, shifting Your weight on the right leg. "I'm going to America - the land of opportunity! I was born there, you remember? I'll finally see what the country I came from is like." Your grin held fast, but somehow You looked depressed.

"Actually...I think it's better," You sighed, the upper portion of Your body dangling out of the tower. "For you and me, both."

"When are you leaving?" A knot had twisted in my stomach and was now wrapping around the entire lower half of me tightly. I almost felt as if my insides might have come out alongside those words.

"Tonight. Walk me to the station, yes?"

"Okay."

It was one of those days. After watching Your face disappear into the distance, I bought a ticket destined for nowhere in particular.

_'Eyes!' A happy expression._

_'...Eyes.' A concerned expression._

_'Eyes.' A serious expression._

_"Eeeeeeeeeyes!" An amused expression._

_'Eyes...?' An expression I could reach._

_And then nothing. 'You're all I have left...Eyes.'_

That was the longest train ride I'd ever taken. Your voice was ringing in my head still, but You weren't beside me. It was the first time in my life I had felt so empty. I wasn't hopeless, but I wouldn't be lying if I said the raining skies were complimenting my mood.

_I had thought about this moment ever since You had mentioned it. For the past hours I had helped You packed. We wandered around the streets, stopping in shops when we felt like it. I think I remember visiting a caf__é, where we shared our final words of innocent talk, before rushing to the train station. All of it was a blur. At best I go only remember a few things You had said. It was over in an instant. Where did all the time go?_

Nine different men, thirteen unique women, and a countless number of children had moved in and out of the train car. None of the people he met when boarding the train were there anymore. Maybe Kanon was feeling a little lonely, too. The trip to America was supposed to be quite long.

_'CALLING FOR 3-E. PLEASE STAND BY YOUR DESIGNATED PORT FOR THE VEHICLE'S ARRIVAL. BOARDING WILL COMMENCE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.'_

_'That's me,' You whispered. That's also what You had whispered the last time the announcer spoke for Port 5-A. 'Really.'_

_You going away was a scary thought. Even if we had grown apart to be complete opposites, You were still the only person I knew. It wasn't just You who only had me, because I only had You. I didn't want to let go. I wanted this embrace to last until I felt strong enough to pull apart. It was selfish, maybe even wrong. But I held onto You while I could._

_'Eyes. I'll see you later.'_

'ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS. THE TRAIN WILL NOW BE STOPPING. PLEASE CLEAR THE ENTRANCES AND EXITS AS THE TRAIN HALTS TO A STOP. THIS IS THE LAST STOP. PLEASE EXIT AND HAVE A NICE DAY.'

A lovely day indeed... I stood up and made my way down the packed hallways to the exit.

A girl with medium-length, silver hair bursted into a run, sprinting out from the crowd behind me. She dashed ahead, tripping over something. It seemed like she was looking for someone because she began screaming 'noooooo!' dreadfully. Her bright, grey-blue eyes began watering up. "Asazukiiiiiiii!"

Intrigued by her sudden display of emotions, I approached her. "Are you okay, little girl?"

"I'm not little!" the small girl protested immediately. She began rubbing her eyes with her puffy, fur sleeves. "I-I lost...him...? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kôsuke, you big meanie!"

I swallowed deeply. "Umm, here." I pulled out a melon, one I had bought at the market earlier that day. "A gift."

"Oh wow!" she exclaimed. Snatching the green fruit in her littler hands, she smiled broadly. "I've never seen anything like it! Thank you, thank you!"

" Rio!" a male's voice shouted. A boy with a green coat and red hair glared at me. "I told you not to talk to strangers!" The male grabbed her by the arm before readjusting his glasses. "Thank you for finding her, sir. Please don't mind us."

"He gave me a gift, see?!" the female child piped, displaying her melon.

The glasses-wearing boy blinked before patting her on the shoulder. "It looks weird."

"Kôsukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

It wasn't a smile. I lost the ability to smile long ago. But...it felt warm. "Do you of any places I can stay here?"

"You can stay with us! I like you!" the girl announced, jumping over and hugging me by my legs. "My name's Takeuchi, Takeuchi Ri-"

" Rio!" her companion shouted, and clasped his hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, sir, but-"

"It's fine," I replied flatly, turning around to leave.

"Kôsuke, you idiot!" the girl shouted. I could still hear their voices becoming faint in the distance.

I looked up at the sky, not too interested in their babble. The sky was clear.

_'I'm not saying good-bye,' I whispered._

_You laughed weakly. If this was anything like one of those movies one of the waitresses I knew ranted about, the train would crash into the boarding dock, a premonition that it was never to be. We would then walk home awkward, happy, and with each another. You cupped a hand against my cheek. The overly romantic scenes weren't my type of fantasy. I would be disturbed to even imagine a relationship like that between us, but then I couldn't picture myself with anyone else. You kissed my cheek gently, so light it shouldn't have been called a kiss. It was more like how a mother bid her child a sweet night's rest than anything else._

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" the girl from earlier had pouted, finding me once more. "You left! And I just convinced Kôsuke to let you stay!"

She tugged on my hand, pulling me towards her sighing companion. Even though my body was going the opposite direction, my mind stayed focus on the endless blue above.

_The Train pulled up and You held Your briefcase firm. I watched, restraining the urge to follow You, as You climbed on that train. Strangers crowded into the vehicle. I was scared. Scared. And maybe...cold? Before I knew it, I was staring at my feet._

_Your head poked out from a window. 'Hey Eyes...' I glanced up. You grinned. 'Good-bye.'_

"It's so pretty outside! Let's go to an outdoor café, Kôsuke!"

"No! You'd make me pay!"

"That's why you're here in the first place, you know!"

"What? No way!"

I couldn't pull my eyes away. Why did it have to be so blue? So clear? Such an inspirational, beautiful sky?

_'Good-bye, Kanon.'_

I inhaled deeply. If we would be seeing each other again, then there was no reason for us to say good-bye at all, was there?

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Afterthoughts: And that's the end! Thank you for reading, this is probably a crazy length one-shot. (heh) If you liked, feel free to send me a review; I love all feedback. If there was something that irked you, then I'd like to know so I can improve next time. Give me a fan-girl-ism review, and you'll absolutely make my day. (smiles)


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